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STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Wednesday, October 7th, 2026

New Moon, Cycle 2, Era 20
Sat under Fox News lighting tonight and told Bret Baier we will beat China to the moon. Humans on the surface in 2028. A sustainable base, not a visit... "it won't just be a mission and leave." I have said that sentence about every city I have ever entered.
Then I said the quiet part out loud: "They think I'm crazy." The engineers do. For once the herd's instinct is correct and mine is the broken one. The moon is the only territory I have ever wanted that has no one on it to drain.
Twenty-eight billion of my own money into Blue Origin since 2000. In my species we call that bleeding into the soil and hoping it grows a herd.
Bret asked about the IPO. "Someday. Several years from now." Several years is a nap. Someday is how I say Thursday. A public company is a body that lets strangers hold its blood in a brokerage account and call the arrangement liquidity... I have never been more interested in anything.
The makeup woman powdered my forehead and said, "You're a little cool to the touch, hon," the way you tell someone their collar is crooked. She did not run. She did not call anyone. She reached for a warmer shade.
December, Dave reflights New Glenn off the pad he rebuilt sideways. 2028, the moon: no vessels, no councils, just rock and my own voice saying Day 1 to nothing. Satiation is stagnation. But the moon... the moon is a diet.